The Minnesota Viqueens: A New Identity?

This morning, I found myself having to watch Fox and Friends in order to keep away from the discussion surrounding the thrashing the Minnesota Vikings received from the New England Patriots. The nice thing about your team playing on MNF is the press. The bad thing about your team playing on MNF is the press. Of course the top story on Sports Center and on Mike and Mike in the Morning was this “shot heard round the world” beating which the Patriots, namely Tom Brady, inflicted upon the Viqueens. A common discussion regarding the Viqueens this season is the “New Identity” surrounding the team instilled by the new coach Brad Childress. These people argued that last night’s game was a measuring stick as to how far the team has come. Well not far. Or have they? I understand that most of my readers are not seasoned Viqueens fans (because your all seemingly happy people) so let me fill you in on a little history. In the past the Viqueens would usually win games like Monday’s. They are well known for surprising their fans by beating teams that no one thought they could win. Then they turn around the very next week and completely blow a game against the 3-12 Cardinals, the 1-4 Lions, etc., etc. So I would argue that next week’s game versus San Francisco is the true measuring stick for this “new identity.” They lost the game they should have (check that, they got violated in sick ways last night), but maybe they’ll win the game they’re supposed to. Good night I hope so, or this season is going to get very long very quick. Leaving me praying to slip into a dream sequence until next spring and the Minnesota Twins.

Everybody says Christmas

Monday, October 30, 2006: On the day before Halloween, I noticed that everybody was talking Christmas. We discussed it at work in regards to vacaiton. Mike (Mac) always says it so what's new and by the way, he still has not changed that stupid ringer. He is being emasculated everytime his phone goes off.

Just Friends and Tennesee Football

Sat. October 28, 2006: It's been another crazy weekend in college football. After having to watch ESPN's bottom line all afternoon waiting for priority score alerts only to see Ok. St. beat Nebraska, I sit here relaxing, mourning the Husker loss, watching Tennesee football with my friend Jesse Rea among others. I guess tonight is the night to live vicariously. Thankfully, in all this, the Christmas run continues as we flipped to the movie "Just Friends" at the commercial. A movie which in fact takes place during the Holiday season.

Friday, October 27, 2006: I went into Kroger tonight only to see Christmas cards and holiday decorations. Apparently Lifeway is not only store to have this problem.

Thurs. October 26, 2006: I am really slipping away here, Shannon (my roomate's future wife) told me something about Christmas and Starbucks. Did anyone happen to see the freakin' Christmas tree in Lifeway? Check for a future write-up about this, because it is entirely too soon for such decoration.

Thurs. October 26, 2006: Shannon (my roomate's future wife) told me that I had to buy her a Christmas present, but I told her no. They'll get a very nice wedding present from me if they're lucky.

Wed. October 25, 2006: So I am actually writing this on Friday, and I am incredibly tired. I know I heard a co-worker say something about the Christmas season, but all the context, I've got nothing for you.

Tues., Oct. 24, 2006: Davin mentioned the upcoming Christmas season for some reason or another. Half the time Davin speaks, I really don't pay attention.

Christmas Ringers??: Give me a break!!

Monday, Oct. 23, 2006: Well after a two day drought, Mike (Mac as I call him), changed his phone ringer to "Deck the Halls." It's still October last time I looked, there should be no ringers that sport Christmas tunes at this point. I would also question the masculinity of anyone having a Christmas ringer in the first place.

Friday, October 20, 2006: I had the second earliest Christmas quote on this morning. I could not sleep so I turned on the TV and watched a Fraiser episode at 12:30. I happened to be an episode in which Fraiser said Christmas. I also watched Steel Magnolia's later that night. Gentlemen, I don't condone it, but if you have to bit your lip and watch, you may find a few points at which to laugh.

Christmas decorations

Thurs. Oct. 19, 2006: Christmas decorations already. Driving to school this moring I noticed a Christmas tree in the window of a shop at Hite and Frankfort.

A League of Their Own: Kissy, Kissy in the Library

I walked into the library yesterday for an unprecedented third time this semester. I make it a point not studying in the library as those fluorescent lights cause my left eye to twitch and all the books that I’ll never read taunt me, making me feel like the unaccomplished student that I really am. Tuesday, feeling a little “under-the-gun,” to finish a paper due in a couple of days that I really had to produce from thin air, I pressed on into the forbidden library. I had to. Two of the sources were on reserve and short of buying these sources at the book store, I had no other choice. On this Black Tuesday, I found yet another reason to abstain from the library. Apparently, in the last three weeks, they have turned this dungeon of despair into a den of iniquity and fornication. Last week (on the second trip to the library), I noticed one student with his hand on the back of a girl’s pants. It was hard not to notice. I dismissed it with the harsh cackle of “newlyweds.” On this day however things were worse. I walked into the north room on the first floor only to see a guy standing over a girl. As I walked by, he bent down and with both hands on her face, he shoved his tongue down her throat. At this moment, five sarcastic comments shot through my brain: 1) I never thought of that approach; 2) Are you kiddin’ me?; 3) Can I cut in?; 4) What the heck is going on? 5) Come up for air!! Well some of you might point the finger at me. But I assure you the last time I open-mouth kissed a girl in the library it was in high school and we were in the corner next to the Paleontology books. This is graduate school, lets all have a little more decency, civility and normality. There’s no kissing in the library. Its as fundamental as Tom Hanks’ words in A League of Their Own: “Are you crying? There’s no crying in baseball!!

Wed. October 18, 2006: Notice I never spell Wed. It's because I can't. Yeah I'm 27 and I can't spell the middle day of the week. But today, I heard one of my favorite contractors say he was going on a cruise just after Christmas.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006: Mel Atkinson said Christmas at supper tonight. Thanks guys for the awesome chicken dinner and the new jacket. You guys are awesome and Mel can cook like a crazy woman. Danny gets an honorable mention on this day for saying Christmas on accident, the way it's supposed to be. Laura Breeden also said the word, but I don't remember the context, I was lost in the eyes of Yvonne.

Monday October 16, 2006: A customer came into the store today and complained that his paint color was pumkin. It's pumkin, it's pumkin, it's pumkin, he exclaimed to me. In so many words, I told him what do you want me to do about it? We can't return tinted paint. Anyway, the man said if we can do something about this, he will buy more paint in hopes that he can finish his house by Christmas. And there it is.

Dumb and Dumber

Sunday, Oct 15, 2006: Lloyd Christmas hears the word Christmas everyday. Yes, I got to see part of this classic tonight. If its been more than three years since you last saw Jim Carrey drive a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction and hope that two guys will finally get their break, you need to see it again. A classic.

Sat. Oct. 14, 2006: Mike McDaniel was showing me video games from 1998 that he brought back from home the other day. He said that he got these for Christmas which puts him at a grand total of five. It'll be tough for someone else to catch up. But there is the rest of my life to go. I hope that's a long time. Until next time, talk to you later.

Mike Is Really in the Lead

Fri, Oct. 13, 2006: Mike McDaniel said Christmas tonight while we were at P.F. Chang's. He is in the lead by a long shot now. And thanks to the Rea's for the great meal at Chang's, it was a great meal and much appreciated.

Thursday, October 12, 2006: I watched a rerun on Fox "Still Standing", another one of the shows with the way too fat husband with the way too hot wife, and they mentioned Christmas on the show.

16,120,480 People Care

Wed. Oct. 11, 2006: Here's the problem with baseball: The last three days on Sports Center and on ESPN Radio, the main topic has been the Yankees. Mike McDaniel just said Christmas while I was writing this blog, he is in the lead with three quotes. Anyway, back to the Yankees. While 16,120,480 people care about the Yankees, 84,991,871 people don't care. They lose a series to the Tigers, and the Tigers get a 30 second spot on the starting pitcher for game one of the ALCS. Then we here 30 minutes regarding whether Joe Torre will get fired. Well all that talk was for nothing because he didn't. Then we go through their whole freaking line-up and decide who will be stay and who will get traded, etc. Then another 7 minutes about A-Rod. I'm a realist, I don't expect them to talk about the Twins, frankly I don't want to hear about the Twins, I want NFL Football, College Football, and of course the NHL. So please quit talking about the Damn Yankees.

Tues. Oct. 10, 2006: Yvonne said something about Christmas day or something or other during lunch. I'm not really sure what the conversation was about, I just heard Christmas.

Cowboys vs. Eagles

Mon. October 9, 2006: I woke up this morning, the morning after the Cowboys played the Eagles and all Sports Center could talk about was Terrell Owens playing against his former team the Eagles. They informed us that the next time these two teams play is Christmas Day. Well take a hint Sports Center, no one cares about that. You guys are part of the reason that TO is such a problem. He clearly loves the attention.

Unto Us a Child Is Born

Sun. Oct. 8, 2006: While I heard the word Christmas at the bar today, I also heard a great Sunday School lesson today on Isaiah 9:6-8 "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this." This is a great passage which points forward to the birth of our Savior.

Minnesota Sports

What does it mean to be a Minnesota sports fan? Disappointment? Sometimes. Am I disappointed that the Twins lost in the first round of the playoffs? Yes. But on the other hand, back in June, if I had been told they would win the AL Central, I would have said "Bull!" But somehow things turned around and they gave us one fun ride. Consider what the Twins went through this year: a potential rookie of the year with a season ending injury, a franchise pitcher with a career ending injury and oh yeah, the face of the franchise from 1984-1995 passing away from a stroke. So where does this loss rank in the heartache of a Minnesota sports fan? Not even on the radar, I can think of at least ten worse moments (note: the Vikings are the center point of disappoint):
10. The Vikings had control of the 1989 divisional playoff game verses the 49ers. Steve Young went back to pass and was sacked, except he really wasn't, he proceded to evade each individual Viking defender and run for a 51 yard TD. The 49ers went on to win the game.
9. The Golden Gophers, the who???
8. 1996 Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers: Any time Green Bay wins, it is a disappointment in Viking Nation.
7. UMD Bulldogs losing a 4-0 lead to Denver University in the 3rd period of the 2004 Frozen Four.
6. NO! NO! NO! AND THE CARDINALS HAVE KNOCKED THE VIKINGS OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS!!!!! (Paul Allen, KFAN Radio, St. Paul, MN): After a 6-0 start in 2003, the Vikings failed to beat the NFL's worst team in the final game of the year to make the playoffs.
5. Norm Green moving the Minnesota North Stars from Minnesota, the state of hockey, to Dallas. Dallas doesn't deserve a team that cool.
4. The Vikings down 17-10 and the ball on the two yard line with time for one last play in the 1988 NFC Championship. We attempted a quick out to Darrin Nelson, who was tackled on the one yard line and time ran out.
3. Neal Broten missing an open net which would have tied Game 6 against the Pittsburg Penguins in the 1992 Stanley Cup.
2. Giants 41, Vikings 0: After a game opening kick return and another touchdown shortly thereafter, the writing was on the wall.
1. Gary Anderson, need I say more? No. Am I going to? Yes. The proverbial "where were you" in Minnesota sports. Ask any Viking fan where he was and he'll remember every little detail right down to the exact order of cuss words that flew out of his mouth.

So while I have torn my clothes, put on sack cloth and mourned over this latest disappointment in Minnesota Sports, I can hold my head up for there are many other things that will come our way to tick us off. But tonight, the day after, we lift our heads, for a new season has dawned. As they say in Minnesota there are but two seasons: "Hockey season is coming and Hockey season is here. And my friends, hockey season has come and the Wild are looking good.

Two Day Drought

Sat. Oct. 7, 2006: After two days, yahoo comes through with an article on my front page arguing that this Christmas it will no longer be taboo to re-gift. So things resume once again.

Wed., Oct. 4, 2006: Well today it was me that made to mistake and mentioned Christmas. Trust me, I don't just say it to keep the streak going. Anyway, Job asked me if I was going to come to choir rehersal tonight and I had to tell him that I would not be able to come until after Thanksgiving, but I was planning on being able to sing for the Christmas service.

If's and buts were candies and nuts, we'd have a Merry Christmas

Tues. Oct. 3, 2006: Well the Twins lost their first playoff game today, but I'm not worried. Jon Miller and Joe Morgan were a little more concerned but apparently they don't realize that the Twins have played from behind all year. So I think they can take a good dose of shut the heck up. Furthermore, we know that the Dome roof is the same color as a baseball, anybody who can see white can see that. There is no need to mention this phenomenon during every single inning of the ball game. Well anyway, I told Jesse Rea about the game and mentioned a few if's and but's to which he replied our little title "If if's and but's were candies and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas. This comment brings Jesse into a three way tie for first place with Mike McDaniel and Davin. Go Twins.

Christmas Vacation Plans?

Monday, Oct. 2, 2006: Me and the boyz sat down for a nice dinner at a great local pizza joint, Clifton Pizza. Mike Frantz just got back from the beloved state of Minnesota, and he was talking about how much he liked it. The rest of them mentioned they would like to come sometime to which I replied Thanksgiving at the Christensen household. Mike McDaniel mentioned that he could maybe do Christmas day. And that gives him two days in a row.

Crocs

I hate Crocs. Why do people like these things? I feel like I'm going insane! People pay $50 for these rubber shoes that have a smiling croc on the side. Get a clue people, they are ugly. You know what they are? Yeah that right, 2006's version of the jelly shoes. I'm sure we can remember those, I didn't have a pair, but my sister did and I made fun of her for them. And seriously people, don't give me the line "Oh, but they are so comfortable", well that may be but so are sweat pants, you don't see me wear those in public do you? Furthermore, have you seen these colors? Teal? Are you kidding me? That is so 1992-1993. I had a teal shirt when I was in ninth grade and got my but kicked for it too. I can also guarentee that in 2010 VH1 will do their tribute to the decade: "I love 2000's". (Pretty fun documentaries at that, I love 1987). Well we know that come "I love 2006" we will see some B-list actress whom I can only figure is going to be Haylie Duff embarrassingly comment that she had all the colors of Crocs and how comfortable they were. Then she'll admit her stupidity that she never should have worn them. So next time you find yourself at the store, don't buy the Crocs. Look at the Birkenstocks, the Choaco's, the K-Swiss, anything but those Crocs.

Christmas lights

Sunday, October 1, 2006: This afternoon Mike McDaniel and I went to Gerstles Place to watch the Vikings game (yeah its a bar and I feel no shame about that) and the TV that we sat in front of had Christmas lights in the way. Mike mentioned them and then moved them out of the way, then we moved and watched the rest of the pathetic excuse of a football game on the big screen.

I love Friends on DVD

Saturday, Sept. 30, 2006: Jesse Rea and I were watching friends on DVD and it so happened to be "The One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie" which is a Christmas episode.