The Fusion

About nine months ago, Gillette released the five blade razor. The Fusion. I of course scoffed at the idea, being a happy user of the Mach 3 for some six years now. At some point the law of diminishing returns is going to kick in. We can't have a 14 bladed razor, seriously. So while I was at home over Thanksgiving, Gillette sent this new razor to my parents house attempting to hook my dad on the new phenomenon. However, they need to know their audience, as my dad is still using the single blade razor from the '60's, and I'm sure he'll never switch. I don't think he even uses shaving cream. So my mom gave me the razor for me to try. Honestly, at first glance, this razor looks more like something you could use to defend yourself in a mountain lion attack rather than taking off unwanted facial hair. But after using it a few times, I can honestly say it is a welcome improvement over the Mach 3. So well done Gillette, thanks for making my face smoother.

Another Thanksgiving Past

Well yet another Thanksgiving has come and gone in the Christensen household in the Northwoods of Minnesota. Family has come and gone, great food, better laughs, and now the Christmas season can officially begin. As mentioned on more than one occasion, Christmas season should not really begin until Thanksgiving has past, but much of America has begun to disregard this unspoken rule of respect for the Pilgrams. Who can really blame us? Why not make the most stressful time of year last another month to six weeks? I am honestly waiting for the year that I walk into a store in the middle of August and the decorations are being put up, and Christmas music obnoxiously blaring in the background. Some of you may be thinking, "Wow, this guy really hates Christmas, He's really bitter, or What a Grinch." All untrue, I like Christmas. I am pro Jesus laying in the manger. I don't have a vendetta for the wisemen. I do however get frustrated with all the shopping, "hustle bustle", etc. Too often in an attempt to make everyone else happy we make ourselves miserable and we forget what the season is really about, i.e. the birth of our Savior.

Vikings are Worse than I Thought

Well, after a devastating loss to the 49ers, the Viqueens have found themselves in quite a hole. I have never watched such a boring football team attempt to play a game. Here's the breakdown: Our best wide receiver, Troy Williamson, has butter hands. I honestly think if the Vikings drafted a walleye (the Minnesotat state fish) for a wide receiver, he would be able to catch more balls than Williamson. On the other side, we have Bethel Johnson. Note to future NFL coaches, don't pick through the trash that Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots have thrown out. If a walleye can catch better than Williamson, I can only imagine how much better it would be than Johnson. Without a passing game, the running game will not succeed. So what will happen now? They will win tomorrow and then begin to get our hopes up again, only to crush them in two weeks, the season will continue in the same manner coming right down to the last game of the season against the St. Louis Rams. At this point they will be on a two game winning streak and if they beat the Rams, make the playoffs. Of course, they will get smoked, leaving all Viking fans wondering why they are fans in the first place. Some will claim to defect, some will burn Viking flags and others will curse Gary Anderson's name (check one month ago, regarding the most dispointing moments in Minnesota sports history). But come next August, we will all huddle around a TV cheering on our team. Why? Because we are sick. There is no medicine a doctor can prescribe for the heart of a Minnesota Viking fan.

Wrong Numbers in Greek

Friday morning, as I slaved away on the final Greek paper for my seminary career, concentration was broken by the pierce of a cell phone ring. “Ah, a break from my pathetic existence as a student” I thought to myself. As I head toward the phone, my mind is already attempting figure who could be calling me at 9:56 am Friday morning. I assumed to see one of my friends’ names on the caller ID, but much to my surprise and confusion, there was no name that popped up. I figured that there was about a 91 percent chance that this was the wrong number but decided to answer the call anyway. This percentage shot up to 104 percent when I answered the phone only to hear a 28-36 year old female say with an almost sensual voice “What are you doing?” I decided that the truth was the best thing I could say, and furthermore the funniest thing I could say. Her voice moved to complete shock when I told her that I was working on Greek. I imagine because she could have never in a million years figured such an answer. She immediately came to her senses, confessed that she must have the wrong number, and we parted ways. I had a good laugh over the situation and went back to my pathetic existence working on my paper.

Standing Ovations are for Performances

I find it interesting when we have a big-name guy in chapel, there seems to be an awkward standing ovation following the speaker. No disrespect to John MacArthur, he gave a great message, but standing ovations are not for sermons. They are for performances.

Halloween and Christmas, but Where's Thanksgiving?

The season of Halloween has come and gone. This means one thing, Christmas will be everywhere. As a bachelor passes over a chick flick, we pass over the Thanksgiving holiday and run straight to the Christmas decorations, music, etc., etc. For the next two months, we will not be able to go into any store without seeing the Christmas decorations, hearing Christmas music or watch any TV show without seeing a Christmas commercial. It’s truly madness. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holiday, good grief, I’ve got a 1/3 of a website devoted to it. But why is it that we pass over Thanksgiving like a bloodhound passes over a pair of old gym shoes? I’m not really sure why. Over the next month, I intend to get to the bottom of this phenomenon. By the way, I’ve decided that writing about Christmas everyday during the holidays might be pointless. I’ll still write about it, but not every day and of course I'll include a special “just for the holidays”: the dumb things people do during the holidays.