A League of Their Own: Kissy, Kissy in the Library

I walked into the library yesterday for an unprecedented third time this semester. I make it a point not studying in the library as those fluorescent lights cause my left eye to twitch and all the books that I’ll never read taunt me, making me feel like the unaccomplished student that I really am. Tuesday, feeling a little “under-the-gun,” to finish a paper due in a couple of days that I really had to produce from thin air, I pressed on into the forbidden library. I had to. Two of the sources were on reserve and short of buying these sources at the book store, I had no other choice. On this Black Tuesday, I found yet another reason to abstain from the library. Apparently, in the last three weeks, they have turned this dungeon of despair into a den of iniquity and fornication. Last week (on the second trip to the library), I noticed one student with his hand on the back of a girl’s pants. It was hard not to notice. I dismissed it with the harsh cackle of “newlyweds.” On this day however things were worse. I walked into the north room on the first floor only to see a guy standing over a girl. As I walked by, he bent down and with both hands on her face, he shoved his tongue down her throat. At this moment, five sarcastic comments shot through my brain: 1) I never thought of that approach; 2) Are you kiddin’ me?; 3) Can I cut in?; 4) What the heck is going on? 5) Come up for air!! Well some of you might point the finger at me. But I assure you the last time I open-mouth kissed a girl in the library it was in high school and we were in the corner next to the Paleontology books. This is graduate school, lets all have a little more decency, civility and normality. There’s no kissing in the library. Its as fundamental as Tom Hanks’ words in A League of Their Own: “Are you crying? There’s no crying in baseball!!